Yay! Food!

I'm rejoicing over 1 cup of food. Yippee! I got to eat actual food today. I'm now in the soft foods stage which includes eggs. For dinner I immediately made scrambled eggs with black beans. It was simply divine.
I'm having a good day today. I'm resisting weighing myself until tomorrow. I know I ate more today than I have been eating so I don't want to freak out about the scale. It is hard not to worry about those numbers. It was so awesome to see such a huge change so fast I forget that it is abnormal and I need to take it slow. 1 - 2 lbs a week is what I should aim for. I can't wait for the support group meeting on Wednesday. It will be so nice to talk to other people that have been down this road.
I'm going to go to bed and try and remember that this is all for my health. I hope to spend a very long time being very healthy.

What did I DOOOOO???

That's what I ask myself from time to time.  It's so difficult knowing that I will NOT be able to enjoy things in the way I have for many many years.  I do understand that I will still enjoy food, just in a new and healthier way.  It doesn't make it any easier.  I know I'm doing the right thing.  It doesn't mean it's the easy thing.  In fact, it's darned hard.
I already miss eating.  I really do.  I miss being able to sit down and enjoy a variety of foods, at once.  I can't do that right now (don't know if I'll be able to do it again).  It's not so easy with an entire meal totaling no more than 1 cup.  I want to cry.  I keep thinking about my last meal out pre-band.  It was SO delicious.  I went out and had hibatchi.  I had scrumptious rice, tasty noodles, perfect tofu, and mouth watering veggies.  Even if I weren't still on pureed foods I still could not even have more than a few pieces of tofu before equaling one cup and being full.
GAAAAH!  I'm so sad!  I really LOVE food.
hahaha, obviously.  I didn't get this way for a hatred of food.
I know I have to keep my eyes on the positive and I do remind myself often of just how much I'm gaining for giving up this addiction.
I'm already planning a yummy, no bread, Christmas breakfast.  It'll include soft foods that will fit nicely into my soft foods portion of this healing.  Just another 2 weeks and I'll be eating whole foods again.  It's sort of scary.  Two weeks of liquids/puree and I am scared of trying more dense foods.  I'll get there.  Eggs will be my first soft food.  Mmmm, farm fresh eggs.
Here's the recipe I found that I am going to try for Christmas breakfast (I think I found it on an official Egg Beaters recipe post):

INGREDIENTS

• PAM® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
• 1 carton (16 oz each) Egg Beaters® Original
• 1/2 cup fat free milk
• 1/4 cup pure maple syrup
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 3 cups frozen sweet potato cubes
• 3 frozen Banquet® Brown 'N Serve(tm) Turkey Sausage patties, chopped   (Or, if you're vegetarian like me you can go ahead and use Morningstar Farms veggie sausage)
• 1 cup 1% low-fat cottage cheese
• 1/2 cup shredded reduced-fat Cheddar cheese, divided

NUTRITION INFORMATION

183

CALORIES

3g

TOTAL FAT

14g

PROTEIN

Serving Size: 8 servings (about 1 cup each)

View Complete Nutrition Information >

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray 8x8-inch glass baking dish with cooking spray; set aside.
2. Combine Egg Beaters, milk, syrup, salt and pepper in large bowl. Add sweet potatoes, sausage, cottage cheese and 1/4 cup Cheddar cheese; stir to combine.
3. Pour mixture into prepared dish. Bake 70 to 75 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Sprinkle with remaining cheese; bake an additional 5 minutes or until cheese melts.

COOK'S TIP

Short on time? Use a 13x9-inch glass baking dish and bake casserole about 35 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. If frozen sweet potato cubes are unavailable, microwave, peel and cube about 1 pound fresh sweet potatoes in their place.